So, its youth day today and im sitting here in the middle of my school canteen awaiting yet another test thats about to start in an hour. Oh how i miss the youthful days!

haha, well it aint that bad actually, i always end really early on mondays (like it or not charxD). Yes its true when they say life is a day that doesnt last for long. One instance you're celebrating your 13th birthday and entry into a new phase of life in secondary school, and the next you're working. Sometimes as i look at the old folks we see everyday, i just wonder about how am i going to spend the rest of my life before i reach the point where i am extremely limited to life's pleasures. Its saddening sometimes, to see how the elderly spend the rest of their lives chasing meaningless goals and also to accept the fact that they are deteoriating. yes ive been thinking alot lately, in fact, ever since 2006 ended ive been thinking.

Her departure still pains me a lil. each time i look upon a family, a little girl, with her grandmother by her side, my heart still aches. Last friday, right after bible study ended, a bb gathering just a level beneath us was having a small performance by a single bag-pipe player. He sounded impressive, with all the notes and rhythum. just then he played "amazing grace".

I guess that song has alot of meaning and depth to me, especially when it is played through a bag-pipe. I was immediately reduced to tears. though its not much, they were still genuine tears of mourning, and at the same time, tears of joy. yes, God gave me that joy, that hope in Christ that we'll all meet again one day. and thats a day we can never even begin to comprehend because we live in a world that is severely damaged by sin.

so i guess, living a long life may not be a good thing. Sometimes i feel like i'd rather not live long at all, sometimes i feel like dropping dead now so i can be reconciled with my heavenly father. but then again, i know that his plans for me are certain, and i hope and i pray with all my heart soul and mind that i will stay the course of faith., and never ever lose it.

its hard being a christian. but a blessing as well.

Written;
5:12 PM